Aphelion

Nice ideas and subtlety.<br><br>I like the way that there are a lot of changes between our world and Naom's but Lee doesn’t feel the need to jump into the story and give us a lump of exposition to explain every last detail. <br><br>This makes it feel more real. <br><br>For example, what's a projecti...

I liked it.<br><br>Best part was the ending. We came to a point where Mother becomes interventionist but we are not told what happens next. The words of the story stopped, but the story continued in my head because I was wondering what followed. <br><br>I mean that in a good way. I didn't feel the a...

I liked it. <br><br>The protagonist starts with a problem and at least a partial solution (he gets a name). Meanwhile, warehouses worth of SF furniture flies at us like a hailstorm. <br><br>I like that we get a short piece where the author doesn't feel the need to explain every last detail. I think ...

Hi Dan,<br>Thanks for taking all that time to write down what worked for you and what did not in this story, and to do so in so much detail. Much appreciated.<br><br>I think the two things for me to take away are, 'work harder on show not tell', and 'set your backstory at the right level of detail f...

Thanks for all your feedback. It's very helpful to get an idea of what works and what doesn't.<br><br> *** spoilers below *** <br><br> This one was action-packed from the opening gun. Action, adventure, danger, and excitement keep the reader on edge throughout the story. <br>Thanks for the head expa...