In The Shadows I'm Gone

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Robert_Moriyama
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Re: In The Shadows I'm Gone

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

The question the protagonist and the reader must answer is: Was any of it real?

At least the portal didn't lead to the inside of John Malkovich's head.
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

Jack London (1876-1916)
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Lester Curtis
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Re: In The Shadows I'm Gone

Post by Lester Curtis »

Excellently written, but it does leave a reader hanging, doesn't it? I'm trying to think of a better way for it to end, though, and I can't. Anything that might happen after the last line would be a let-down.

I really loved this line:
I stood there, hoping the darkness would return.
This just speaks volumes about how desperate the poor character is, that something which ought to be terrifying is, instead, inviting. I also liked:
I have extra clothing, a knife and a sword I bought online. A Zippo too, and some condoms just in case.
Ready for anything, indeed.

Whether his experience was real or not, there's a real message here about what modern life does to people.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?
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Lester Curtis
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Re: In The Shadows I'm Gone

Post by Lester Curtis »

Note carefully, that this story may not seem to have an ending, it DOES have a climax, which actually happens around the middle.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?
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Robert_Moriyama
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Re: In The Shadows I'm Gone

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

TaoPhoenix wrote:
Lester Curtis wrote:Note carefully, that this story may not seem to have an ending, it DOES have a climax, which actually happens around the middle.
Heh climaxes without endings are better known as ...

;D
But after four hours, you're supposed to go to a Mitt Romney Health Care Facility for the Uninsured (i.e., an Emergency Room). No, wait -- that's only if the unending climax doesn't -- um -- defuse the situation.
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

Jack London (1876-1916)
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