Cold Storage By E. S. Strout

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Lester Curtis
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Re: Cold Storage By E. S. Strout

Post by Lester Curtis »

Well, I sure wish Bill would show up for this . . . I'm on shaky ground here, science-wise. That said . . .

The part that doesn't seem right to me (science-wise) goes like this: One particle of antimatter should destroy one particle of 'normal' matter, shouldn't it? And it should stop there. But here we have some-odd pico-quantity of antimatter eating two times ten to the umpty-dozenth times it's own weight -- and quite passively, at that; no bang, not even a noiseless flash. Stuff just disappears. Am I behind the times on theory, or does this seem wrong to someone besides me?

'Tame' and 'untamed' antimatter -- ?? Huh??

Aside from that, I got a little annoyed at all the product placement. Generic equipment names work just fine. Adding specific make and/or model numbers is a distraction; it draws the reader's attention away from the story. I don't mind seeing "iPad;" it's become a word like "kleenex." But why Zeiss binoculars instead of Swarovsky? Or (eww) Bushnell? Don't use brand names unless you have a very good reason, as in, that brand is essential to some aspect of the story.

Also, when the two profs who were(n't) an item meet Beatrice, why do they stop and stare at her? Was it merely because she dresses like Rachel? I had to stop and reread the passage, and still couldn't figure it out. So, that took me out of the story -- again.

And this trans-lightspeed gravity engine, again. Painfully clear, it's a plot device, used to explain the rapid turnaround time of that space mission. Gee, how convenient. What if they didn't have that, though? Consider how the story would change: the characters start on this project, and don't have conclusive evidence -- yet -- but the probe brings back the needed sample in time for their children's generation to solve the problem! I think I might have liked that better than the way it was here.

Which brings me to another thing . . . Gino's stories always seem to be in too much of a hurry. Race to the finish-line, very exciting, all life as we know it is at stake. Trouble is, there's no variation in the pace, and that in itself generates a kind of monotony.
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Re: Cold Storage By E. S. Strout

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

TaoPhoenix wrote:
Lester Curtis wrote: Which brings me to another thing . . . Gino's stories always seem to be in too much of a hurry. Race to the finish-line, very exciting, all life as we know it is at stake. Trouble is, there's no variation in the pace, and that in itself generates a kind of monotony.
This is an interesting remark, because it's like a "meta-comment". Any couple of stories is fine, but if *most* of them fall into the pattern, it's an area for the writer to look at. Of course, "everything is at risk!!!!" is the classic way to build suspense in SciFi ... but then after enough of them, it all leaves you breathless and jaded.

"Ho hum, the entire universe is at risk ... again... let's go fix it, then get a Lamb Gyro from the lunch truck on the corner street!"
A bunch of those Star Trek novels were criticized for this problem, in part because they were written in parallel by ten writers, so when 20 of them came in all at once, a lot of them shared that meta-flaw.

It's tricky to beat though, because Novel A Features The End Of Life Jim/Jean Luc as We Know It!!!! Novel B has a failed romance on Betazed. Which is more exciting?
One of the general criticisms leveled at the James Bond movies is that they ALWAYS featured some Threat to The World. ("The Spy Who Loved Me", for example, was named after a novel in which Bond protects a young woman he meets while traveling in America, but featured a typical Bond megalomaniacal villain; even "Goldfinger" changed the plot to one where the villain planned to destabilize the U.S. economy by rendering its gold reserves literally radioactive and untouchable.)

The Daniel Craig Bonds are more personal -- the stakes are lower in terms of impact on the world, but more intense in terms of the consequences for Bond himself and those around him. Mebbe Gino should try something more on the level of "The Fly" (the original or the Cronenberg version), where the life of one person is in peril. The Deus ex machina solution may still appear, but the machina can be the size of a toaster instead of a battleship.
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Lester Curtis
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Re: Cold Storage By E. S. Strout

Post by Lester Curtis »

Tao wrote:
This is an interesting remark, because it's like a "meta-comment". Any couple of stories is fine, but if *most* of them fall into the pattern, it's an area for the writer to look at. Of course, "everything is at risk!!!!" is the classic way to build suspense in SciFi ... but then after enough of them, it all leaves you breathless and jaded.

"Ho hum, the entire universe is at risk ... again... let's go fix it, then get a Lamb Gyro from the lunch truck on the corner street!"
My comment was meant to focus on the pace of each story individually, and Tao has noted that the problem is collective. Equally true, and it's a very strong signature style that Gino has adopted. I've mentioned a similarity to the work of Michael Crichton; someone else once mentioned a different author.

I don't have a problem with all the stories sharing a strong style. I do have a problem with the stories maintaining a uniform level of high tension throughout them. When every sentence is warning of TEOTWAWKI (and I feel fine), then there's nowhere to go if you need to add some more tension somewhere. Like The Boy Who Cried 'Wolf' -- after a while you get numb to it; you become immune to anything that might otherwise add extra impact.
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Re: Cold Storage By E. S. Strout

Post by Lester Curtis »

Dr. Emmet L. Brown was worried! If his calculations were correct, the entire universe would blow up in seventeen minutes!

He knew that rechecking his arithmetic would take at least half an hour.

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Lester Curtis
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Re: Cold Storage By E. S. Strout

Post by Lester Curtis »

Gino wrote:
Lester, Stephen King's novels are loaded with brand names.
To me, it makes no difference who does it. I still think it should only be done for a good reason.

Those binoculars? Instead of "Zeiss," why weren't they labeled "Property of United States Government"? Hm?
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OP vs NOP

Post by Lester Curtis »

To me, the choice to outline came later, and only for my novel project. I've never needed one for flash or other short work.

I began my novel without an outline, but after a while, I had to come up with some sort of way to keep track of what the characters were doing, where, and when. Tao, if you remember, I was recently looking for something with a tree structure for this. Scrivener has one, but I didn't think that was worth paying for and then having to import my existing system into.

My existing system is Mac's Text Edit (an .rtf file), which allows me to change font color and also to use tables. I built a two-column table and filled in the information. Left column (narrow) has dates (the main character's age according to his home-wold's 14-month calendar). These are also the chapter titles. Right column has very short outlines of the chapter's main events. I use the Bookmarks function to navigate to chapters and important sub-chapter locations.

Here's what some of my outline looks like:
#1.jpg
#1.jpg (167.05 KiB) Viewed 10414 times
#2.jpg
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There's more, but this is just to illustrate. And I use this thing ALL the time, and back it up along with the manuscript, 'cause I'd be lost without it.

And, by the way, shouldn't this discussion be somewhere else, like in a new thread in Writer's Workshop?
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