Skywatcher by K. Bannerman

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kailhofer
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Skywatcher by K. Bannerman

Post by kailhofer »

Sadie Thorpe dreams as she never had before, and then withdraws in fear that she had altered the universe in her dream. As it turned out, her actions had repercussions, just not any she expected.<br><br>I thought this was an easily understood piece, written with professionalism. As a reader, I felt free to enjoy the piece without stumbling over writing choices. The initial dream sequence surprised me with the all lower case, but it served well to set it aside from reality, giving it an "otherworldly" feel.<br><br>I was a little disappointed with the world building. The dream is filled with good imagery, with vermillion skies and the like, but is not all that detailed. If it were so real as to be overwhelming to Sadie, I thought a good deal more sensory detail would be needed to give me a sense of just how concrete this event was to her. That way, when the rest of the story is perceived in such less detail as it is, it could have emphasized the event's importance, as well as the effect it had on her.<br><br>I thought that Dr. Rhine gave too much away in infodumps. For me, it took away some intrigue and my sympathy for Sadie, effectively killing the narrative flow just before the surprise ending.<br><br>I had heard that theta waves were at 8 hertz, and were also close to the natural electromagnetic frequency of the earth (as Tesla saw it). Were the frequencies stated a fiction, or from research? I assumed that the passage was meant to convey that her dreams were different from normal people's, but I was a little disappointed when Rhine never explained the 'builds and builds' reference. I was very curious to how you would explain the energy 'building' in terms of physiology.<br><br>I thought Sadie was characterized well. She was believable and sympathetic. Her actions were consistent with her personality as I saw it. What I didn't like about her character was that as she was growing more and more reclusive, she didn't change in a way that would have lead her to solve her problem. That is, her good and interesting experiences didn't provide her with any special insight that she could draw upon to reach a resolution. Even though the story ended in such a way that she couldn't have resolved her dilemma, that she had figured out what she needed to do would have made her end more tragic, more dramatic.<br><br>I didn't like Dr. Rhine's characterization. At every moment, he is nervously friendly, annoyingly impatient, or uncomfortably menacing. As a character, he didn't seem to know who he was. For a Dean of Psychology, this was unlikely. Furthermore, I didn't see where he had it in him to murder her in cold blood. He seemed too foppish--a boy in his father's clothes, as the story stated. <br><br>The line "His mouth stiffened into that reptilian smile, and he peered at her over the rim of his glasses." leapt out at me as not being quite right. "Reptilian" usually means a coldness, a marked lack of emotion, or a creeping, groveling behavior. When it was said "that reptilian..." I was confused, because I hadn't seen that emotion before. He was filled with annoyance and nervousness, as well as a patronizing attitude.<br><br>I thought the plot was progressing well until the doctor showed up, after that, things didn't ring true for me. I guessed the ending, but, in all honesty, only a few paragraphs early.<br><br>I thought the dialogue was good, and fit all the characters--even the doctor.<br><br>This was not a bad story by any means, but I felt that it could have gone further in terms of scope and deeper in terms of emotion. A look at the effects unwanted precognition could have was a great idea, but lacked a little in execution.<br><br>Nate<br><br>(PS. I love the winter photography at your website. I thought it conveyed a wonderful sense of isolation in a cold, forbidding land. Hope that was what you were going for.)
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Robert_Moriyama
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Re: Skywatcher by K. Bannerman

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

... maybe Rhine (named for the fellow who designed those flashcards with the star, wavy lines, circle, triangle, etc. used in mid-20th C. ESP experiments) is himself a telepath. The gov't can't tolerate the existence of genuine psychic talents not under its control (per the Stephen King 'Firestarter' protocols), so Rhine goes out to 'read' solid candidates -- and remove them if his own talent tells him they could not be convinced. Then he uses his powers to wipe the memories of any witnesses ...<br><br>Man, I can come up with a rationalization for anything. I should get a job in the Bush White House.<br><br>Robert M.
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