Re: Soccer Mom by Vannessa Peterson
Posted: July 04, 2014, 05:32:17 PM
Watch the POV. Fifth paragraph:
The whole thing profoundly confused me when:
You go from German's POV to that of the customer.The woman forced her mouth into a straight line to keep from laughing while her beau scratched his head and told himself this guy couldn't be real.
The whole thing profoundly confused me when:
There's more head-hopping, starting with Brandon reading Rhonda's unspoken thought. Then the whole remainder of the story suggests a Rosemary's Baby scenario, with no connection to the car-shopping episode. It's almost like parts of two unrelated stories."Lemme show you all the space in the back," said German as he started sliding the door open.