See You in Hell

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kailhofer
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Re: See You in Hell

Post by kailhofer »

Boy, authors are chomping at the bit this month. If he had just waited 30 minutes... :)<br><br>Ah, a simple game of chess in the park. What could go wrong with that? A lot, when one player is a demon, and the other the best chess player in the world--who is weak from addiction.<br><br>This was an excellent piece of fiction, and I liked it a lot. It was written with professionalism, and I didn’t notice anything in terms of grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. It was easy to follow, and the writing gave me a sense the writing was carrying me through towards the climax.<br><br>I like details. I like all the senses to perceive things so that the world is concrete enough that I can feel that I’m there. I didn’t get that from this, but I could see good reason not to--Marv is an addict, so his perception of the world is skewed, off. All of the world wouldn’t seem real to him, and I believe that he would only notice things a bit at a time.<br><br>I didn’t get why the musicians were in the story. They have dialogue, a sort of disjointed running commentary, so they were important. However, I didn’t see what their purpose was for being in the tale. <br><br>I liked the character of Xaphan. A true denizen of Hell, he came complete with tricks to bend the minds of victims, while holding out a secret that will let him win in the end. He was a very good thinking man’s demon, laying a mental trap. Marv may not have been the most sympathetic character to begin with, but it doesn’t take long to draw us into the idea that he’s playing for his life--in exchange for a chess set. He misunderstood. He thought he was earning an eternal Get Out of Jail Free card, but all he would get was chess pieces. That was as human a choice as I know of.<br><br>This was a very good plot. Even though it was about chess against a supernatural being, the story itself was human--human values, human frailties, human drama. Marv had it all. He had ability to live by his chess skills, but he blew it. Finally, he could have saved himself, but in the end, he chose not to. He chose to keep living as he was, even though he knew what would happen.<br><br>I thought dialogue/voice was handled well.<br><br>A lack of sympathy for Marv at first was the only real stumbling block for me, but only a little one. That he falls for his frailties at the end may trouble some, but I liked that. Some endings are tragic. Very well done. <br><br>Nate
Last edited by kailhofer on March 13, 2005, 01:12:14 PM, edited 1 time in total.
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kailhofer
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Re: See You in Hell

Post by kailhofer »

Thanks, Nate!
Hope I didn't breech and protocols by asking for comments, but this is one of those stories that I love one day and cringe at the next... I was eager to see how it played in the real world.
--G
<br>Naw. This issue was late. I'd have been on-edge myself. The only bit of netiquette I see anybody breaking is that generally, topics are started "[title] by [author's name]". That way everybody sees it, and doesn't accidentally start a new topic about the same thing.<br><br>However, I would keep in mind that we all have day jobs, so reviews are things people fit in as they can. Luckily, this issue came out in time for a weekend where I didn't have anything planned, or I wouldn't have gotten to any of it for a quite while. Most of the Usual Suspects are notorious procrastinators, so I wouldn't expect many more reviews to filter in before the end of the month.<br><br>Nate
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Megawatts
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Re: See You in Hell

Post by Megawatts »

Great story! Chess can serve as a doorway to ideas.<br>During a friendly game of Chess without time-clocks,<br>good ideas or creative idea about your personnel <br>projects or your work can bubble up to the surface of your mind! If you're relaxed while playing, the chess board becomes a mantra, so to speak, which stimulates thoughts.<br><br>Shooting Pool also has the same effect.
Tesla Lives!!!
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