Ladi by Michael Goldberger

Tell us what you thought about the October 2005 issue!

Moderator: Editors

Post Reply
Megawatts
Master Critic
Posts: 951
Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM
Location: Johnstown, Pa.

Re: Ladi by Michael Goldberger

Post by Megawatts »

The child came through, and the struggle between his friends and parents opened up as the story unfolded.<br><br>The ending was typical---too typical, and I would have enjoyed a much better one. <br><br>I give the author credit because to tackle a story about a kid with an imaginary friend or a alien that only he can only see is a tough one to write. That theme has been used many times, but I did like the story in general.<br><br>This guy can write, and I hope he developes it!!!
Tesla Lives!!!
michael

Re: Ladi by Michael Goldberger

Post by michael »

Thanks for the credit. I'll try not to let you down.<br>Michael <br>:)
User avatar
Robert_Moriyama
Editor Emeritus
Posts: 2379
Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Contact:

Re: Ladi by Michael Goldberger

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

One of my comments to Michael was that I couldn't quite figure out how old the narrator was supposed to be. I even fiddled a little with some of his speeches (and those of his classmates) in the hopes of arriving at something consistent ...<br><br>Unfortunately, I suspect that just as it is dangerous to try to use the 'voice' of a scientist or mathematician if you know nothing about their fields of expertise (or even if you do know something -- but you haven't actually TALKED to people in the field), it is risky to write as a child unless you spend a lot of time around children of the age of your character.<br><br>Now, primary school teachers could probably emulate the speech patterns of a typical five-to-ten-year-old, or at least tell you if you're doing it wrong; parents might be able to do so, but if their children are unusually clever (or unclever), the 'voice' they're used to might not sound right to anyone else.<br><br>As with anything else, you need to develop your 'ear' in order to write convincingly in the persona of something you're not (be it rocket scientist or kid with a not-so-imaginary friend).<br><br>Robert M.<br>
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

Jack London (1876-1916)
michael

Re: Ladi by Michael Goldberger

Post by michael »

I agree Robert, there is a problem with the 'voice of the child' in my story. However I do believe that the problem at my case comes from a different source. As you know English is not my native tongue and it is very poor in compare to my Hebrew. <br>I believe that I can tell a child story since I have to kids of my own and I never passed age 16 (according to my wife) but is so hard when your language is not rich enough.<br>The reason I start to write in English is because the audience is simply bigger, the SF community is more established and mature so there is so much to learn.<br><br>This is something I try to improve, 'Ladi' is my first story written in English. I think Aphelion is a great stage and a great school. <br><br>Thanks again for the criticism and the good advice.<br><br>I hope to publish more stories soon.<br>Michael<br>
User avatar
Robert_Moriyama
Editor Emeritus
Posts: 2379
Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Contact:

Re: Ladi by Michael Goldberger

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

Hebrew, I believe.

Anyone who can work in anyway in a second language deserves kudos. I find that ability amazing.

However, I don't know that a publisher is going to purchase a story simply because the author has such impressive skills. Michael has added to his burden by working in a second language. Because it's easy for me to say, I recommend that Michael work in his native tongue as, according to him, it sounds like maybe there is some space for a sci-fi market in Israel (which is not at all to say that he shouldn't continue working in English).

Dan E.
<br><br>Well, our long-absent friend Guy Hasson certainly made a name for himself there (in Israel), as well as publishing in English (often placing both English and Hebrew versions of some stories)! Michael, have you ever run across Guy or his work?<br><br>Robert M.
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

Jack London (1876-1916)
michael

Re: Ladi by Michael Goldberger

Post by michael »

Dan, you are right Hebrew is my native tongue. Nevertheless <br>I feel that writing in English expose my work to a much larger audience then here in Israel. I think that for a writer nothing is more valuable than the exposure he gets (as long as he doesn't compromise his work).<br><br>Robert, I know Guy. I red some of his stories and went to an artist class he gave at one of the SF conventions at Israel. In fact, the reason I decided to publish at Aphelion is that I saw Guy published several stories here. <br>I think it paid off, since I get good critics (good in a way I have much to learn from it).<br>I thank you all for your time and effort.<br>Michael<br>
Post Reply

Return to “October 2005”