Too Much Information by Sohrab Koohpaima
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- kailhofer
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Re: Too Much Information by Sohrab Koohpaima
I've seen tremendous growth in Sohrab's stories since "Exile" back in March, was it?<br><br>I thought there was a wonderful use of descriptive language in the opener to help set the mood. Also, there was a more concrete setting described throughout.<br><br>However, much like "Pot 62", I saw this as an extra long flash piece rather than a full short. Flash creates the mood, tone, or setting, and then "flashes" us with a surprise that changes reality as we know it. <br><br>There's nothing wrong with flash, and I think this story works just fine as such. It does what it sets out to do. <br><br>Exile, Attraxes, Pot 62, and T.M.I. here were good experiments to try out openers, descriptive language, dialog, and building some character. They show that you've built up a workable skill set, but now I think (& I think that this is what Lee and Dan E. seem to be really saying) you should be ready to hone the next skill: plot development. <br><br>I say it's time for the real deal--a full-fledged short that develops characters in an arc, builds to a climax, and then resolves itself logically instead of in a flash. Do that, and no one will tell you it's still a draft or just an opener.<br><br>Are you up to it?<br><br>Nate