It'l All End Sobbing in the Dark by Lee Alon

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Megawatts
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It'l All End Sobbing in the Dark by Lee Alon

Post by Megawatts »

Good discription mixed with chararcter development!<br>The more I read, the more I became present with Tingting, Noam, Bruce, Carol and the rest. The use of sound ( wind shuffling in the eaves ) made me remember "Hooches" that I once lived in. And the use of "irritable bowel syndrome" does suggest one living outside his/her country.<br><br>I almost felt part of the team, so to speak, but glad I wasn't. I might not have been the last survivor!<br><br>The characters make a story and these ones came alive to me. <br><br>The use of Senator McCarthy next to civil righs activists from around the world does have me a little confused. <br><br>Maybe lee used it to suggest a balance between the right and left. I don't know, but it did add an interesting touch!<br><br><br><br>
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Re: It'l All End Sobbing in the Dark by Lee Alon

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

Good discription mixed with chararcter development!
The more I read, the more I became present with Tingting, Noam, Bruce, Carol and the rest. The use of sound ( wind shuffling in the eaves ) made me remember "Hooches" that I once lived in. And the use of "irritable bowel syndrome" does suggest one living outside his/her country.

I almost felt part of the team, so to speak, but glad I wasn't. I might not have been the last survivor!

The characters make a story and these ones came alive to me.

The use of Senator McCarthy next to civil righs activists from around the world does have me a little confused.

Maybe lee used it to suggest a balance between the right and left. I don't know, but it did add an interesting touch!


<br><br>I dunno. Was Joe McCarthy a Congressman or Senator? Maybe he meant Eugene McCarthy, the Democratic Presidential candidate from the mid(?)-Sixties?<br><br>RM
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Re: It'l All End Sobbing in the Dark by Lee Alon

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Senator Joseph McCarthy was a sleazy bully. He ruined the careers of hundreds of innocent men and women to advance his own. Yet for all of the suffering he directly caused, not to mention the pervasive fear in liberal circles of being unfairly associated with Communism which he indirectly gave birth to, throughout his entire senatorial career, he never once was able to directly convict a single suspected Communist of a crime. (1950-1954)<br><br><br>So you can see that "Joe" has alway stuck with me.<br><br>I think lee's McCarthy was Eugene. Joe McCarthy was a sensationalist who used his senatorial powers to create fear, in which he wanted complete control over others by the threat of labeling them Communists! Thank God, he was stopped by President Eisenhower!
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Re: It'l All End Sobbing in the Dark by Lee Alon

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Senator Joseph McCarthy was a sleazy bully. He ruined the careers of hundreds of innocent men and women to advance his own. Yet for all of the suffering he directly caused, not to mention the pervasive fear in liberal circles of being unfairly associated with Communism which he indirectly gave birth to, throughout his entire senatorial career, he never once was able to directly convict a single suspected Communist of a crime. (1950-1954)


So you can see that "Joe" has alway stuck with me.

I think lee's McCarthy was Eugene. Joe McCarthy was a sensationalist who used his senatorial powers to create fear, in which he wanted complete control over others by the threat of labeling them Communists! Thank God, he was stopped by President Eisenhower!
<br><br>Of course the current administration labels anyone who doesn't agree with them 'terrorists', or 'enemies of freedom', or 'enemy combatants' (none of whom has even Geneva Convention rights, apparently). But that's Not The Same Thing At All, right? (It isn't any better up here in Canada -- we have a few people who have been in jail for several years on terrorism-related uncharges, and THEY'RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO KNOW WHY THEY ARE IN CUSTODY.)<br><br>Robert M.<br>
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Re: It'l All End Sobbing in the Dark by Lee Alon

Post by Megawatts »

Robert that is the same thing. McCarthyism is alive and well when it comes to terrorism. <br><br>Too many people are cast under the shadow of terrorism when all they do is live within the law. They abide by it, they honor it, and they respect it. Why doesn't the law respect them?<br><br>
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Re: It'l All End Sobbing in the Dark by Lee Alon

Post by thomasreynolds »

A good story, Lee. The pacing is well-timed, and the tension builds throughout toward a powerful conclusion.<br><br>You wondered if the story was convoluted, but I didn't find it to be so at all. I love when writers are able to construct--in the space of a short story centered on a few specific individuals in an almost claustrophobic location--a larger, even global, narrative. Like others who've commented on the story, I enjoyed the references to politics which added extra layers of meaning to the story.<br><br>You also did a good job of creating an interesting protagonist and quirky supporting characters. I liked them and became involved in their situation and setting. In fact, I was intrigued enough to wish for more. I'd like to see more of the dynamic of this group. For me, this would make the ending even more emotionally powerful--to be more attached to them before their demise. <br><br>Perhaps this could be expanded into a novella. For some stories, that would be overkill. For this story, I think the story is big enough, and the characters are intriguing enough, to support that expansion. <br><br>This is all to say how much I enjoyed your story.<br><br>Tom<br>
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Re: It'l All End Sobbing in the Dark by Lee Alon

Post by tim_c_taylor »

Nice ideas and subtlety.<br><br>I like the way that there are a lot of changes between our world and Naom's but Lee doesn’t feel the need to jump into the story and give us a lump of exposition to explain every last detail. <br><br>This makes it feel more real. <br><br>For example, what's a projectionist? I don’t know. Some kind of forecaster? Some kind of psychic projectionist? Don't know, but I assume Naom does, and it does not appear to be vital for us to understand.<br><br>Liked the way Lee squeezed in subtle lines that made sense later, such as:<br>He thanked the driver and alighted just as someone on board sneezed.<br><br>"Not all war criminals are really bad, either." Thought that was a great line. Controversial enough to get a reaction out of me.<br><br>Was confused about the idea of putting people on trial because they were found to have the 'bad gene'. It's a great idea, but the idea of the 'bad gene' got mentioned very late on and until then I got misdirected. <br><br>When I read: <br>>They were mistakes accumulated over thousands of generations, all the types that made humanity suffer, from bad neighbors to war criminals<<br>I thought we were going back thousands of generations to put historical people on trial . Now I think Lee means that 'they' are not people but deleterious mutations accumulated over thousands of generations leading to the 'bad gene'. Is that right? ???<br><br>Tim<br>
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