Mentor by H. David Blalock

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Lipinski
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Joined: June 05, 2011, 02:05:03 AM

Mentor by H. David Blalock

Post by Lipinski »

Title caught me and the story carried it the rest of the way.

Enjoyable to read with good flow.

I try to never correct a poet in their writing but regarding anything else written, it is sometimes nice to point out things the author might not have seen.

In this story I noticed a lot of 'I'. Many of the sentences begin with "I,".

Filed in the "For example," For example:" I spent over two centuries being studied by the world's brightest. They poked, they prodded, took endless samples, did massive work-ups, all in vain. They found nothing. No genetic key, no special circumstance. For all intents and purposes, I was just another man."

Maybe something like this... Spending over two centuries being studied by the worlds brightest. They poked, they prodded, took endless samples, did massive work-ups, all in vain. They found nothing inside or on me that could account for what many considered, impossible. No genetic key, no special circumstance. For all intents and purposes, I was just another man.

It was an enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing.
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