- Lester Curtis
- Long Fiction Editor
- Posts: 2736
- Joined: January 11, 2010, 12:03:56 AM
- Location: by the time you read this, I'll be somewhere else
The only thing that gave me pause was when Booru had thrown the Ice ball at the berserker, but then chucked the Fire ball away and wasted it. I think I know the reason: it was necessary to keep the mad attacker alive in order to maintain the tension. Burn him to a crisp, and the story fizzles.
That need not have been the case, though, since it was shown earlier that this character was being quite effectively kept alive by the enchanted sword. So, had Booru thrown the Fire ball at him, he could have ducked under the water and just stayed there until the fire went out or he swam out from under it. Booru would have thought the guy was gone, only to have him pop up a little later.
Also, it seemed a little too convenient that Erascu and company were exactly where they needed to be at just the right time. Still, these are minor problems, and this is still an enjoyable story.