Nature's Way by Don Traverso

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Robert_Moriyama
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Re: Nature's Way by Don Traverso

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

yes, Tim was portrayed as greedy and extremely self-serving, but to say he deserved what he got? not sure. then again, he got basically what he pined for.

Lee
<br><br>And, in his defense, he really did love his wife and want the best for his children by the time the story began, in spite of his original purely selfish motives. Of course, by the end of the story, his definition of 'children' was a bit broader than it had been ...<br><br>That he was able to deviate from the Redfield naming tradition indicates that he was not merely a mindless drone at the end of the story -- so the relationship between the insectoid creatures and the humans was symbiotic rather than purely parasitic.<br><br>Robert "800 posts and counting" M.<br><br>
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

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mekano_46
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Re: Nature's Way by Don Traverso

Post by mekano_46 »

what failed to click for me was the overly long narrative at the beginning. Tim had no business talking so much.
<br><br>The funny thing is that I'd cut four pages from the beginning because people had told me it was too long/slow! This is the shortened version!<br><br>It's true that I felt worried that the beginning was still too long, but I also felt that the information contained was too important to leave out. Also, I didn't want to slow the pace of the later scenes by inserting some of the flashbacks and thoughts there. It was the best solution I could think of at the time.<br><br>I'm glad you enjoyed it. And just so you know, the maggot scene really happen to me when I was a child. It was so...yuck, that I didn't include it until my fourth or fifth draft of the story. I still shudder.<br><br>Don
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