The Black Death by Jeani Rector

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Megawatts
Master Critic
Posts: 951
Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM
Location: Johnstown, Pa.

The Black Death by Jeani Rector

Post by Megawatts »

Very good narration. Easy to read, good English usage, and a great feel for character development.

Elissa found London to be almost overwhelming, and the city bombarded all of her senses with excessive stimulation. Everything appeared to loom larger than life.
In the above passage, show how London made Elissa overwhelmed and show how her senses were bombarded by the many different sounds and sights. And show how everything in London appeared larger than life by her reactions through her senses. And use concrete nouns, specific with some description.

Outside of a few areas in the story where showing should replace telling, I thought the story rather good. And Jeani’s vivid description and detailed explanation placed me in London with Elissa.

Stories about the Black Plague have been with us for centuries, they will continue to be referenced in many stories because the interests in it never wanes.

A bit of Anne Rice in this one and I really did like this story for its beautiful language.

Keep it up Kid, you’re a winner!!
Tesla Lives!!!
Megawatts
Master Critic
Posts: 951
Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM
Location: Johnstown, Pa.

Re: The Black Death by Jeani Rector

Post by Megawatts »

Hey bill, I overlooked things many'a times. Like I forgot to pick up my wife once!! Well, maybe twice! Well....
Tesla Lives!!!
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