Cameron Philips and the Great Cosmic Do-over

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Megawatts
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Re: Cameron Philips and the Great Cosmic Do-over

Post by Megawatts »

The intro managed to get one’s attention, and the descriptions of the scientists very nice. Good word choices and usage. However, in a conference cubical on a space station with so many people present, a reference to the Air Handling System increasing its output to compensate for the extra heat might have helped in the sensory department. Just a thought.

The tech-talk everywhere, but not so far out that it interfered with the story. Now if the reader had to solve a differential equation to get to the next paragraph, well then I’ll say....

I love tech-talk stories especially when the author draws from his/her education coupled with a career choice that directly employs his learning. To build up to my explanation; a welder learns how to weld, then he/she welds. A math teacher teaches what he/she has learned. A theoretical physicist dives into the world of the unknown by applying mathematical rules to Nature then following that road. Where will that road lead? Well, I hope that soon a ‘Wrap Drive’ that mirrors Star Trek’s will be at the end of one of those roads!

Excuse the pun, but I just off on a little ‘Tangent.’ Now to get to back to the story.

I loved the ’Nuts-and-bolts’ reference to hand’s on science.

Some of character could have been developed further, but in a short like this one that is peopled with many different individuals, its hard to develop each character. Not enough time. No pun intended!


Some better planning at the ending would have eliminated one issue:
A message flashed in the data column indicating the detection of a laser pulse from 0837, but it was only 0720.
The advanced computer on Novikov Station----and remember this space station is in the future---would archive every movement within the station itself, and, I sure of this one, archive every bit of information that it receives!!  The information on Cameron’s display would have been saved! And all associate data pertaining to it would also have been saved! The time-travel pulse that Cameron received would have been saved. Unless the computer was damaged, but then again I’m sure back up files probably constantly beamed to earth in real time, would have held that data.

Liked the story very much, and loved the tech-talk!!
Tesla Lives!!!
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kailhofer
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Re: Cameron Philips and the Great Cosmic Do-over

Post by kailhofer »

Another story I picked because of the title. It matters.

For the most part, I thought this was a pretty solid story, which two major exceptions. The character was likable, the setting intricate, rising action a little weak but there, and the denouement/conclusion excellent.

The first exception was a lack of sensory input from all the senses to make the setting more real. It was almost all sight & sound.

The second problem I had with it is that due to the time displacement, the hero never has no face a moment of truth until after what would have been the climactic moment. Things explode before they've even sent the beam. Cam doesn't get the chance to choose to do something that saves them, or dooms them, just before the big blowup. For being the only "practical" physicist, that difference doesn't give him any special knowledge or discovery of significance. He doesn't save them in the aftermath. Afterwards, he chooses to keep hidden the positive result, and that bit reads well, but it's not the same as a real climax.

And that difference made this story come off flat to me.

Nate
Last edited by kailhofer on June 08, 2008, 02:46:16 PM, edited 1 time in total.
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