Night Glow by William Baxter

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kailhofer
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Re: Night Glow by William Baxter

Post by kailhofer »

The only thing that bothered me was that the narrator seemed to think with the mind of an eight-year old. That was perfect until the end, when we realize that twenty years had passed since the incident. So the main character was either a simpleton or regressing. The more I think about this, the more it bothers me, since the child-like quality of the narration added quite a bit to the weight of the story, but to change the ending would also diminish the plot. I suppose you could make the main character a bit on the slow side (ala Forrest Gump).
<br>While I agree with Dan E. on his point about the tent city, I think you're off on this one.<br><br>I don't think Steve is a simpleton in any way. As a child he was caught up in a traumatic event that burned the event into his mind--every nuance, every detail. I read it that we are meant to be caught and experience it just as he did, in more or less "real time" ala The Rime of the Ancient Mariner. That's a difficult thing to pull off, however, and may have been the root of your problem.<br><br>There were a number of grammatical/capitalization errors in the piece, and I don't believe they were purposeful to help us get into the mind of an eight year old. More careful editing would help in the future.<br><br>The world-building is not particularly coherent, but neither is the mind of a small boy. I thought it could have used more sensory input to add realism to the points of the story that the boy did understand and perceive.<br><br>Character development and plot credibility is a sticky wicket in this story. I subscribe to the conflict-resolution theory, which stipulates that characters have a problem which needs resolution. They then take steps to try to resolve the pertinent dilemma and the story is the result of their attempts. The main character here makes no choices towards resolving his problem. No choices made by the main character equals no story, or at best a news story. The characters who do make the choices are the mother and father, but they're not the focus of the tale.<br><br>Steve needs to do something to reconcile his past, or make his life more complete.<br><br>I had no quibbles over the dialogue. He sounded like a pre-pubescent boy to me, as I explained above that I thought he should.<br><br><br>In a nutshell: Too short to develop a plot beyond an eyewitness account, like a news story.<br><br>Nate
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Christie
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Re: Night Glow by William Baxter

Post by Christie »

I agree with Dan on this one. I nearly cried, too, when I finished the story.<br><br>For Mr. Baxter to write from the perspective of an eight-year-old and make the reader feel that confusion and trust of a child, he should be commended. On the other hand, for a 28-year-old to have that same perspective, something's not right.<br><br>But, I was so swept up emotionally that I barely noticed that detail. I am looking forward to more stories from Mr. Baxter.
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