Never ask Why by Ezra T. Gray

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kailhofer
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Re: Never ask Why by Ezra T. Gray

Post by kailhofer »

Cute indeed.<br><br>To borrow a phrase from Sir Walter Scott: "Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive." --But a web doesn't work so well when built in a dimensional gateway.<br><br>But the truly great question in this story is never answered: Why the cat was named Yoda. :)<br><br><br>I thought the introduction of the characters was a little confusing. By traveling along the chain of phone calls we saw the players introduced, but it was confusing when the story jumped to "the female caller" as she climbed back into bed. For a minute there, I couldn't tell which one was which.<br><br>There was room for improvement in setting. The world-building didn't include much description, and there was ample opportunity. I wanted to see Cedrick's world, and how it differed from our "silly" reality. Points for trying to include the smells of death, but it stuck out as the only time other sensory input was provided.<br><br>I had trouble telling if it was really Roger with powers Cedrick taught him or Cedrick himself at the end. The lead-in sounded as if Cedrick would be the performer, but the text seemed to be from Roger's mind.<br><br>Roger adapted from oblivious nerd to deliberate manipulator too quickly for my taste. It didn't seem to match his character. Such a rapid changeover made me feel like a chunk of the plot was missing, a segment that would have been good reading. I wondered what other crimes were pinned on Winston, and how that was done.<br><br>Like Dan, I also had a problem with the notion that Cedrick couldn't make mice, but he could everything else. That didn't seem to jibe with the concept of verisimilitude, the "appearance" of truth.<br><br>Cedrick sounded suspiciously like Gandalf to me, but it worked.<br><br><br>Cute story, but it could have been fleshed out for more impact and entertainment.<br><br>Nate
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