The Floating City By Jason Beirens

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kailhofer
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Re: The Floating City By Jason Beirens

Post by kailhofer »

Oh, my.<br><br>I think the greatest problem here was the story's abbreviation. A rogue and a mage off to topple an evildoer in a floating city is a grand notion. Expecting to do all of that in 2,400 words was not. Such a rich tapestry required more effort before any writing was done. <br><br>Inexperienced writers frequently miss in five critical areas:<br>1. Professionalism. Know the rules of standard English, because your readers will expect it. Edit, edit, edit, and then edit some more. Hunt down all those grammatical errors, awkward sentence formations, incorrect punctuation marks, and capitalization mistakes. Your work will be better for it.<br><br>2. Setting. Also known as world-building. Speculative fiction readers are an intelligent lot, and they will make an important assumption: every world starts the same as our real world, until they read otherwise. Therefore, the author has to take time to establish a baseline reality on which the rest of the world will be perceived. You want to present interesting details that make the world come alive, and you want to describe the world with all your senses. That will make it more concrete to you and your reader. Take time to describe buildings, rooms, and characters. Let us "see" what was in your head when you wrote it in bright detail. Also, remove things that have no bearing. The Gangs mentioned were not needed and gave the wrong idea of what kind of a story was to follow. The infrared goggles seemed completely out of context.<br><br>A guy fishing with his toe when a city floats over the top of him was a good beginning, but then later we read that he wears a mask that covers... tentacles? Up until that point, I thought he was human, and it annoyed me that I didn't know he wasn't right away.<br><br>3. Characterization. Invent believable characters that readers will sympathize with. By that I mean to take time and establish in your mind who a character is, who and what he or she likes or dislikes, how that interrelates to the rest of the characters and the world around him, before you start writing. Said character has to be engaging--we have to like that person, or love to hate him or her. Usually this is done by showing the character's inner conflict--what's wrong with him or her that needs resolution. That character has to be true to their values, whatever they may be. Also, the character needs to grow as the story progresses.<br><br>4. Plot Development. The plot needs to be believable. This is a gut-level thing in the reader. They will either buy it or they won't. They'll be looking for the story to unfold in ways that make sense to them. Putting them in the dark is ok for short periods, but not long ones. The plot will need to build momentum towards the climax, and this is what will keep us reading.<br><br>5. Dialogue. Speech patterns need to be believable and consistent. Give each of the characters a different voice and choice of words that are unique to them. Ideally, you want readers to be able to tell who's talking without the character identifiers (but keep the identifiers in anyway).<br><br><br>All writers struggle and work with these elements. Don't be discouraged if you don't get them right off--that's why Aphelion is around--to hone your skills and expose you to writers who can help you. They're all trying to master them, too.<br><br>Nate
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