After Creation

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kailhofer
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Re: After Creation

Post by kailhofer »

J.L. Navarro's publishing credits exceed mine by a good measure, so at first I was willing to give the benefit of the doubt to superior experience. (You sure won't find anything of mine for sale at Amazon.com, at least not yet.)<br><br>Last's month's story had a vampire endearing enough that I could overlook there being a weak plot. Sam needed to get home, and he made it.<br><br>This month, I can't stomach it. This would be a tremendous bit of world-building, if the real story began where this one left off, but it doesn't.<br><br>Tunk's problem is... it is... he's sick? He needs to get to work? That he can't stand the life he leads?<br><br>He's still under the weather at the end, so that problem isn't resolved. He makes it to work by a third of the way through the story, so that must not be the point of it. Then at the end, he seems to cope with his existence just fine.<br><br>If the point of this story was on the value of creativity and vibrancy... I guess I could, figuratively speaking, wrench that round peg into my square hole. If that was the case, it seems that it could have been done better, and more effectively, by having Tunk switch sides before he was hauled off to the meat factory. At least that would have made the drama more human.<br><br>So, no thumbs up from me on this one, sorry.<br><br>Nate
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kailhofer
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Re: After Creation

Post by kailhofer »

You know, you can write a story that's not based on formula. Nate, I think that you expect to see the tension in the character. However, the tension is meant to be invoked in the reader. It reminds me (on a much, MUCH smaller scale) the novel Ulysses by James Joyce, which focuses on the progression of a day in Dublin. That's a novel that would thoroughly frustrate you. There's no real conflict or resolution, and it's artsy to boot. :p
<br>While I've not read Ulysses myself, people who know me who have all agreed that I'd hate it. My views on artsy literary fiction have been widely publicized. <br><br>I'd argue that all stories are formulaic: A likeable (or dislikable but engaging) protagonist has at least one problem, which he or she must try to overcome. Then, in the moment of truth, the hero chooses to do something (or not), and then succeeds (or not) in an interesting or revealing way. Further, I'd contend that if there is no resolution of some sort, it isn't really a story. Even if it is famous. <br><br>(We'll see if that one gets me burned in effigy across the internet, too... As far as I know, nobody burned Robert Silverberg alive when he proposed a longer version of that formula.)<br><br>Nate
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Robert_Moriyama
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Re: After Creation

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

J.L. does a splendid job of springing surprises on us in this one. We start with something that seems like a mildly futuristic version of a situation familiar to many of us: feeling like crap but having to go to work anyway. Even the process of driving to work seems pretty normal, right up until the crop of human heads ...<br><br>I have to say I admire the way the situation is revealed without resorting to the honkin' big blocks of exposition and background detail (classic example: the chapter(s) on whaling in Moby Dick; not so classic example: long passages in Wagon People of Gor by John Norman). Tunk thinks about his world in response to oddities that arise, disrupting the monotony to which he is accustomed.<br><br>On the other hand, Tunk's passivity does make the story seem pointless -- which may BE the point. Tunk, like most of the people in the world (by which I mean OUR world), survives, endures, takes what little pleasure he can in the amusements he can afford, and carries on.<br><br>I was waiting for Tunk's fever to turn out to be the start of something else -- a virus, perhaps, that modifies his genetic makeup so that he can think independently, perhaps even reproduce in the old fashioned way. Given J.L.'s history, maybe this is the opening for a novel or series of stories. I, for one, would like to see what happens next if I am correct about the potential implications of Tunk's illness.<br><br>Robert M.
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

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