The Customer is Always Right by Bill Wolfe

[kailhofer]

I'm not a big fan of the undead, but it appears they have their uses.<br><br><br>This story is split into two separate parts, in the Mare and on the Scoutship.<br><br>The scoutship part is much better, in my opinion, largely because of the world-building efforts there. The Pack is interesting, and it clearly took considerable effort to develop that civilization for the story's backdrop. Even so, there aren't enough physical descriptions of the characters or the ship for my taste.<br><br>I had problems with the name, Tse-Pesh. Wouldn't that be like "Sheepish" with a lisp? I don't know how good this particular criticism is, but it bothered me every time I saw it.<br><br>The Mare section was most likely meant to rely on all the previous stories to give it detail and a sense of concrete solidity--except I haven't read all that many of them, so it didn't seem very real to me. For example, I could not picture what the crystal repository thing looked like.<br><br>There were also some punctuation and formatting problems which detracted from the professionalism of the story, most notably the changing from roman to bold text:<br>Assuming, of course, that she also knew your true age and experience. Her people have many talents but above all they share an aptitude and love of all things theatrical. It was just part of the show, as they say. But I digress. . .<br><br>Also, the terms habile, trousseau, and rictus may not have been used in the correct way. Trousseau generally refers to a bride's clothes and linen acquired during the period of her engagement, not to the garb of a male nightstalker. Rictus was not in my dictionary.<br><br>The Pack members were really good characters; inventive and well done. The canine hierarchy of alpha males and subservient betas was represented with skill, and the characters fit.<br><br>Vlad, on the other hand, came off somewhat flat. I didn't feel the "hunger", or his inner sorrow. I couldn't really say that he grew as a character, whereas Max made a choice to give part of his soul. He grew from the exchange, but his visitor didn't, and even now the Prince of the Undead may be stalking the unwary corners of Bethdish.<br><br>[As a side note, I happen to know a former exchange student who, in fact, comes from what was Transylvania (Moldova). Vlad is still a national hero there for saving them from the wrath of the Ottoman Empire, and they hate the Western concept of the vampire (and were shocked at the thought of it, having only learned of it after the Soviet Union fell), and that it supposedly comes from their hero adds insult to injury.]<br><br>The concept of an invading alien horde thwarted because the person they first chose to abduct was a vampire was really brilliant. Predator becomes prey--this plot was steeped in a good sense of irony. Good show.<br><br>In terms of dialogue, I just didn't buy Vlad's speech. I thought he was too wordy to be the ultimate nightstalker. If anything, I would think that he would be a brilliant conversationalist:<br>"They were unfortunate, indeed, Max. Did you know that there was a resort on Holodise where the very rich from countless worlds went to play? Where every whim, every fantasy, every wish could be granted by the clever, sentient holograms who populated that world and who are—as you can imagine—the very finest holoreality programmers in the known universe? "<br><br>I'm sorry, but that just doesn't sound like Dracula to me. Dracula, in my opinion, would get to the point forthwith.<br><br>In summary, I thought there were some marvelous things in this story, but others that were in need of improvement.<br><br>Nate

[Robert_Moriyama]

I loved this one. I'm a fan of Dracula stories -- I recommend Fred Saberhagen's novels for a bloody good read featuring Vlad in contemporary America, or Tanya Huff's shorter series featuring a vampire who is the bastard son of Henry VIII in Toronto -- so Bill started out with an advantage as far as getting me hooked. (Yes, I twigged to the visitor being a vampire, and probably Vlad Tepes, pretty early on. See other threads for remarks about the curse of having seen / read godawful amounts of genre material.)<br><br>The Pack seemed like a cross between the Klingons, the Kzinti, and evolved versions of Whitley Strieber's superwolves from the novel (not the movie, which didn't do them justice) Wolfen. As Bill said, the Pack were superbly adapted predators, with high tech weaponry supplementing their already formidable natural attributes. But they were, in the end, flesh and blood, while Vlad Tepes is ... not.<br><br>The relationship between Vlad and Max, two immortals of very different kinds, was an interesting one. Immortals living in a society of immortals would become bored; immortals living among mortals may be engaged by the constantly changing population and culture around them, but must be lonely beyond imagining.<br><br>On the copyright problem should this ever go to a paying market -- you might have to change the Kzinti reference to some euphemism (like the 'felinoid' description I used in Helen in Wonderland). Also, was 'Farengi' meant to refer to the ST:TNG big-eared carpetbaggers, or was it just an accident of similar spelling?<br><br>(Speaking of spelling -- there's an occurrence of 'gate' where I'm sure you meant 'gait' in there, in the description of how Vlad moves. Probably others odds and ends in there, but I was having too much fun to notice.)<br><br>Robert M.

[Robert_Moriyama]

... I also had references to Peacekeepers et. al. which is a F@rscape reference (in case the copyright police are googling) and even—at the end—Star's Tears.

. . .and please tell me that you—of all people—got that one. I haven't read Tiptree in a decade but I still shudder just thinking about that particular beverage. Perhaps I should write something for our friendly spaceport bar and grille around it. Nah, too scary. I'd hate to live with the nightmares it would take just to do the research for it.

<br>Alas, I missed the Peacekeepers as a Farscape reference, as I've only seen a few episodes of Farscape. Now, if you'd mentioned the Green Lantern Corps, or the Lensmen (who were sort of the inspiration for the Corps, if I remember correctly), that I would have understood. And I'm not sure if I've ever read the Tiptree (a.k.a. Alice (or was it Raccoona?) Sheldon) story featuring Star's Tears. There went my rep for having seen / read everything and remembering / recognizing it when it pops up.<br><br>

As for the paying market? Well, I might be too busy dancing around and throwing confetti made of my many rejection slips into the air to get to it right away. But I would be willing to make some subtle changes to my masterpieces to actually see the things in print. But I doubt it would be necessary. My (limited) understanding of the whole situation is that just mentioning a fictional race or culture ain't the same as writing a story about it.

I'm not worried about the Big Boys. . .Paramount, Microsoft et. al. But in one of my stories I talked about a certain Moose and Squirrel. . .and I tell 'ya that little guy really gives me the creeps!

Thanks to all,

Bill Wolfe

<br>You're afraid of Rocky? Okay, the image that comes to mind is the monkey returning to its point of origin in 'Bruce Almighty' -- but at supersonic speed. Yowch!<br><br>But it's more like the former demon Anya's odd and never entirely explained fear of rabbits in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I mean, Rocky is small and cute and lacking in any protruding pointy bits. Now, having Bullwinkle 'return to point of origin' at any speed would REALLY hurt.<br><br>Robert (frightened at birth by the shadow of a proctologist?) M.

[Robert_Moriyama]

I've been puzzled by that as well. My only guess is that she watched to many Monty Python movies.

Kevin

<br>Actually, in the flashback episode showing her and her mate Olaf (before she cursed him into being a troll), she mentions something about raising rabbits. We can only guess that Things Did Not Go Well.<br><br>Robert M.<br>