Aphelion

The "Aphelion Project" Challenge, Part Two:

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to complete this story:


[center]Old Wounds

By:
Bill Wolfe[/center]



[center]Aphelion-II[/center]

Lieutenant-Commander Ophelia Dunsirn didn't believe in intuition. She had earned her way to second-in-command of Ap-Two through hard work, intelligence and perseverance. She'd flown strike missions in Iran and Tibet, and had scored the highest ever on the EuroNASA physical/emotional fitness exam. She had complete trust in herself and didn't worry about her place in history. She'd earn that too, eventually. But the butterflies in her stomach since Captain Al-Hassanieh had made the announcement just wouldn't seem to go away. No other way to say it, she had a bad feeling about this.

She'd been wearing her Com-Officer hat when the priority, eyes-only, encrypted message had been recorded by Ap-Two on its way to Ap-One, nine light-seconds ahead on their trajectory to Mars. It was only the second such message she'd heard-of in the three months they'd been underway. The first was when Roberson's mother had died. Within ten minutes of this latest transmission, however, the Captain had issued a communications blackout with Earth. The computers would continue to record but the entire crew was completely locked-out until further notice. This was unprecedented. All ten members of the Martian All My Children Fan Club were going to throw a fit when the signal was interrupted from the 'Live' broadcast.

[center] Aphelion-I[/center]

"Relax Ensign." the Captain's manner was grim. Ensign First-Class Archana Yarlagadda, was trying hard to float at attention. It wasn't working well.

"You have my word that this conversation is both completely confidential and quite necessary. Clear?"

"Yes, Captain!"

"You were at The Academy with Lieutenant-Commander Dunsirn, were you not?"

"Yes Captain."

"Tell me about her pregnancy, Ensign. Everything. I want facts, rumors, anything you overheard and anything you suspected. That's an order."

"Sir?"

"Shall I repeat myself, Ensign?"

"No Sir!" The Ensign paused, collecting his thoughts. "It surprised us all, Sir. She never so much as flirted with anyone—man or woman—when she was a Middy. She just didn't seem interested.

"Continue."

"Well, Sir, she started showing during our last semester but she refused any special medical restrictions on the physical part. She never spoke to anyone about it and my understanding is that she gave the child—uh, boy?— up for adoption after graduation."

"Speculations, Ensign." He wasn't asking.

"Several, Sir. There was the usual, of course. Admirals and Commodores and even the pizza delivery guy, but nothing really believable." The young officer took a deep breath. "And then there was some scuttle out of the civilian sickbay staff that she might have been raped."

The Captain didn't flinch, but his dark complexion seemed to blanche. "Explain."

"My roomie was dating a civilian nurse and he claimed that he'd heard that Ophelia—uh—Lieutenant-Commander Dunsirn, came-in about oh-five-hundred one Sunday morning, she was scratched-up and bruised and asking for a morning-after pill. There was no physical exam but the nurse said she'd worked plenty of ER's and knew a rape victim when she saw one. If she'd reported an assault, we would all have heard about it."

[center]Aphelion-II[/center]

". . .Sidney Barnes? I'd have a lot of trouble believing that, Captain. For one thing, Ophelia's one of three people that ever knocked Hideki Yoshizawa out-cold in his own dojo. If ten Navy Seals went after her at least three of them would be dead before they could subdue her. I'd stake my career on it. And Barnes, Sir? If you'll pardon the expression, my ten-year-old niece could kick his scrawny geek civilian ass. Captain, there must be some mistake. I don't care if he was working in Annapolis at the time. And furthermore, Captain, Barnes is still a member of my crew and Ophelia would never disobey an order to leave him alone. I strongly advise against confining either of them to their quarters. Over."

Commander Alexandru Macridin released the transmit button and decided to review the news clip that the Captain had forwarded to him on the secure laserlink. He had a minimum of sixty seconds to burn until he received an answer from Captain Al-Hassanieh aboard Ap-One. The decryption/encryption time for these super-secure links was nineteen seconds.

It was a TurnerFOX[sup]TM[/SUP] International Report and he had fast-forwarded to the salient part. Atop the screen was the headline, "Sex and Scandal in Space" and there were two, stock EuroNASA head-shot photos side-by-side. One was an excellent, professional shot of a bespectacled young man, pale and gaunt, with thinning blonde hair and a toothy smile. The other might have been a mug shot but even the poor lighting, lack of make-up, and severe hairstyle couldn't mask that this was a striking woman. Of African-Armerican/Pakistani lineage, she was dark, exotic, fit, and didn't give a flip about anything but the mission.


". . . has now confirmed that medical genetic testing done on all the Mars crews and their families prior to launch has indicated that Doctor Sidney Barnes, the only civilian on the mission, is the biological father of Lieutenant-Commander Ophelia Dunsirn's illegitimate child who was born shortly. . ."


"Al-Hassanieh to Macridin on squawk-two-fiver-nine-orange. Mac, I understand your concerns and I trust your judgment. Just go—and I mean personally—and order Barnes to his quarters until further notice. No explanation. And let's get Ophelia in your office for a little chat, shall we? Blackout will continue until we sort this out. Thanks Mac. Over."

According to the duty log, Barnes should be at his station on the aft reactor.

When the Commander approached the little den next to the Pu-Be/Thermocouple Generator bay, he heard a voice.

"Barnes! Wake-up, Barnes! Awwwwww—Crap!"

He had just turned the corner when a bloody hand reached for the com panel and Lieutenant-Commander Dunsirn's stern, calm voice began to echo throughout the ship.

"MEDICAL EMERGENCY IN AFT-FIVE-C. REPEAT. MEDICAL EMERGENCY IN AFT-FIVE-C. WE HAVE A MAN DOWN. SLOW PULSE, RESPIRATION ZERO."

When she looked-up and saw Macridin floating there, she released the button and lowered her voice.

"There's been an accident, Commander. I'm starting CPR."

[center]To Be Continued...

[hr][hr][/center]


STORY RULES: You must use the characters and settings from the above story. The situation may resolve itself in any way you see fit, but must be in the SF genre. Abstract absurdity, "it was all just a dream" sequences, and the like will be rejected as unread as they can be. Your "2nd half" story may not be more than 1000 words, and does not need to be hard SF. Include title and a byline. Author's names will be posted on the story and the poll for this challenge. Do not send a bio. If, in my judgment, any requirement is missed, I won't post the story for voting. Sorry, but rules are for everyone. Stories may be Rated "R" (Dan is ok with that).

Pictures of the ships and information about the Aphelion Project can be found here: http://www.aphelion-webzine.com/series/bwsu/index.html

HOW TO SUBMIT: Stories should be submitted to me by PRIVATE MESSAGE, and NOT posted into the thread. If you've never sent a PM, all you have to do is log into this forum and click the 'PM' button at the bottom of this post. That will take you to a special message board, a kind of Aphelion-only email, where you paste your story into the body of the message and then send it to me. You are responsible for doing your own formatting, and for the sake of uniformity, leave an extra line between paragraphs, just like when you see them in the 'zine. I'm allowing different colors for now, but I'm not going to allow changed fonts or sizes, artwork, or any other embedded or external links. I want all the stories to display the same on everyone's computer. DO NOT send a regular email to me--I don't want to risk a spam filter blocking someone's hard work.

NOTE: ONLY REGISTERED MEMBERS who have posted at least one message may submit a story. Without that one post, the system will not let you send a PM. So if you wish to join the challenge, post a hello or introduction, or just put your two cents worth in on any of the discussions going on anywhere in the Forum. We'll be glad to meet you.

DEADLINE: Stories should be in by 10 p.m. Central Standard Time, Thursday, May 22, 2008. The stories will then be posted for voting. Voting will close at 10 p.m. C.S.T. on Wed., May 28.

VOTING: All the story titles are literally tossed into a hat and chosen at in random order. Vote totals will NOT be hidden. If two or more stories are tied at the end of voting, there will be a succession of one-day runoff votes until a single winner is chosen.

If you feel a second story deserves a vote, you may legally vote again as a guest, but you'd need to do it from a separate network, say from a library or your workplace. Votes are tracked by IP address only, so a guest vote from your same network will change your previous vote to the newer one. Voting for yourself a second time is just tacky, so don't do it.

WHAT YOU WIN: Attention and glory. Respect. Perhaps even the envy of your competitors. No promise is expressed or implied that these stories will ever be a part of the official pantheon for the Aphelion Project Universe. However, your story just might wind up shaping all future stories in that venue, which would be pretty cool.

GUEST ACCESS: Guest votes will be allowed again, so feel free to tell friends and neighbors about the contest and encourage them to read all the stories, not just yours.

It occurred to me that this challenge is different enough from the usual fare that many writers out there might be unsure how to begin.

I've only just begun planning mine, but I can tell you how to prepare like I did over the weekend:

1) Ignore most of what is in the BW Universe pages. You have six people on a rocket with enough elbow room to move around. There's another 6 on the other ship. I'd look at the pictures, but not more than that, because you probably won't need it.
2) Print out a copy of Bill's 1st half and really read it. Try to get a feel for the characters he used (and he only used 5 out of the 12 available). What are they like? What character traits did they have?
3) Write those traits and facts about them down. In order to write about them, these people will need to be concrete in your head.
4) Decide for yourself how Dunsirn became pregnant. She was either forced, or she wasn't. What you choose radically changes who Dunsirn and Barnes are and what they're capable of.
5) Based on your decision to #4, guess who would want Barnes taken out, and why.
6) To me, if Dunsirn (or a different member of the crew) doesn't just go on a homicidal rampage, the most obvious path for the plot to follow is that someone, probably Commander Macidrin, will either have to figure out or have someone prove to him what really happened by the end. Or do something completely different. I'd love it if you did.
7) Pick a path the story could follow to reveal the whys and wherefores by the end. Try to come up with at least one major complication to the plan that makes it go wrong. Scrambling to cope or regrouping to try again is a great way to reach your climax.
8) As a general rule of thumb, I try to start the major complicating action that results in the conclusion at about 700 words. That usually gets me there and wrapped up by 1,000. It may not work for you, but that's what I do.
9) Let 'er rip! Don't worry if it doesn't work. Your first draft may result in a whole new story by the time you finish the second draft, but it will be a whole lot better for the effort.

Good luck! You have until the 22nd of May.

Nate

Well, if it isn't a little hard, it's not much of a challenge, is it? :)


I'd rather point the way instead of leaving 'em lost in the wilderness. Sure, some people like to make their way without a guide, but others like a path.

I could be crazy, but I think most people consider this stuff when they write, even if it's subconsciously. Besides, I'd really like to see more entries this time.

Nate

Let's see if it will let me post today... Cool.

I have my story done! Woot! Woot! (I always feel better if mine is done before I see anyone else's. Otherwise, if I'm still writing I feel like I'm cheating.)

So, the door is open. Let your stories come on in! You have until the 22nd.


Nate

Just as a preliminary headcount, how many of you out there are considering entering this half?

It's ok if you decide you can't get it done. I'm going to give Bill a run for his money (assuming Bill enters to complete his own story), so there'd be enough to vote on... but I'd love a few more choices.

If no one is interested, I'll have to go on some madcap escapade to attract new people. Somehow. Somewhere.


Just would like to know I'm not completely wasting my time on these things...

Nate

The PM system has been a little flaky lately. A lot of time I get email notifications of new messages, but never get the message, so I wanted to make sure someone hadn't sent me a story.

Because I haven't received one, from anyone. Not even from Bill, who won part 1.

Hello? Anybody out there? Anybody?


Still 4 days left... You have until Thursday. You can do it! Only 1,000 words! You can do a thousand words. It's easy. It's fun. It's low calorie! Be the first on your block! Operators are standing by...

Ah, I know how to do that to someone. You send them a PM and then go back and delete it before they get a chance to read it but after the email's been sent.

Well, in this case, I'm afraid that's not why. It's been like that since the server crash. I can't delete PMs, either.

As for me, I have good reasons for not entering this month. Basically, the first half of the story deals with themes (illegitimate children, possible rape, etc., etc.) that I don't think I'm quite willing to put into anything I write yet. Hence I'm waiting to see what happens next month.

Obviously, I respect your principles. However, you know you don't have to use any of those elements, right? If you really wanted to say that Barnes, maybe a chronically accident-prone individual, accidentally jabbed a pencil into his own neck, and then take the story in a whole new direction, you could. All other themes fall away if you write them correctly.

Otherwise, if you want to wait for next time, that's ok too. We'll be going back to the standard format, in fantasy genre. If the next issue isn't coming until the 8th, I can hold off the challenge until the 13th and still have the usual 2 weeks to write and 1 for voting. Plus, that gives me 3 weeks to come up with an example... I might even fit in a few critiques while I'm at it...