Time Lies

Tell us what you thought about the October 2008 issue.

Moderator: Editors

Post Reply
Megawatts
Master Critic
Posts: 951
Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM
Location: Johnstown, Pa.

Time Lies

Post by Megawatts »

Love stories about time, this one was no let-down.

What is time? How does it propagate, or is it a constant , fixed in space,
un-changeable in each increment of the universe, or is it flowing like a river
that travels in a pre-determined course! I don’t know and never will. But dreams---as this story suggests---might be the doorway to other worlds, worlds that are as real as ours!!

Most of the elements needed for good story telling are present in this story, and Richard’s use of the English language is effective.

A very good storyline and the theme is thought-provoking.

Some use of sensory input would have aided in getting the reader into the story better: When Michael stopped in the park at the beginning of the story, integrating his heart beat and maybe a cool breeze that hits his sweaty forehead while he argues with the women, would bring back similar memories to the reader, and give him a feel for what Michael is going though.

Some references to sensory input can go a long way!!

All in all, very good story, good writing, and really nothing to nit-pick about with style, word use, or grammar!!

Nice Job!!! :wink:
Post Reply

Return to “October 2008”