The Wellness Center by Lee Gimenez
Posted: March 13, 2009, 01:53:26 PM
Reminded me of the movie Soylent Green. Maybe that’s the reason we are on a health kick today. We’ll taste better in the future! Just had to get that one in!!
The intro worked Okay; it did grab my attention.
Good writing in this one, clear, concise and easy to follow with good sentence lengths and word choices. The dialogue I felt was very good!
Characters can alive. And the descriptions were judicial which always works better than just adding for the sake of having description.
The sensory input was strategic in my opinion. The writer uses subtle inputs through-out the story, but saves the most powerful sensory effect for the end: “The room was frigid and there was an overpowering pungent smell.”
If the whole story had powerful sensory inputs like that sentence near the end, then that sentence at the end would not stand out like it does, at least to me. I hope others comment on this because maybe I’m reading too much into it!!
The story uses religion to control an alien race on a distant planet, and that alien race we use for labor and food! Earth is a war and no supply ship can reach this planet called Azulation.
The Blues--indigenous aliens I believe---are rebelling against human authority. They must have figured out that they are just live-stock for the humans on Azulation and also figured out what this ‘cure’ really is!
Erik a former detective turns into a rebel after discovering how Blues a killed and processed. He starts a one man rebellion to save the blues from mankind’s cruelties.
A nice well-written story which follows an old theme, but one that never dies!!
Good one!!!
The intro worked Okay; it did grab my attention.
Good writing in this one, clear, concise and easy to follow with good sentence lengths and word choices. The dialogue I felt was very good!
Characters can alive. And the descriptions were judicial which always works better than just adding for the sake of having description.
The sensory input was strategic in my opinion. The writer uses subtle inputs through-out the story, but saves the most powerful sensory effect for the end: “The room was frigid and there was an overpowering pungent smell.”
If the whole story had powerful sensory inputs like that sentence near the end, then that sentence at the end would not stand out like it does, at least to me. I hope others comment on this because maybe I’m reading too much into it!!
The story uses religion to control an alien race on a distant planet, and that alien race we use for labor and food! Earth is a war and no supply ship can reach this planet called Azulation.
The Blues--indigenous aliens I believe---are rebelling against human authority. They must have figured out that they are just live-stock for the humans on Azulation and also figured out what this ‘cure’ really is!
Erik a former detective turns into a rebel after discovering how Blues a killed and processed. He starts a one man rebellion to save the blues from mankind’s cruelties.
A nice well-written story which follows an old theme, but one that never dies!!
Good one!!!