Aphelion

I liked it a lot. I creak more all the time, and this story felt strangely comfortable to me, partly by identifying with the problems of an aging body. Yet, he takes time to deliberately absorb the beauty around him.

And, apparently, he gets an easy exit. This has power. I had to kill off a favorite character of mine once . . . he took time to look around, too.
As to the ETs/angels . . . I'd have just used purebred angels; they'd go along with the other religious references better, and the reader would be more comfortable with them, if you like comfortable readers. Personally, I was expecting fairies; maybe something to do with the night, the water, the quality of the light . . . ET was a little jarring; maybe just too many things at once. Like Close Encounters of the Third Kind meets "Little House on the Prairie."

I liked the story's long, slow, smooth rhythms. I think it actually relaxed me to read it. I know it's not to everyone's taste, and personally, I could have done with less religion, but the story has a depth of feeling that's rare. Very nice job.

"Picher" is perfect. Then you know it's not a typo.

Well, I for one would definitely think it was a typo. I understood the original just fine, though I knew some people would have problems with it. Probably best to use the conventional, correct "picture."

"Pitcher" might work better for this if the speaker were using a lot more phoneticized colloquialisms. Then the reader would expect it. It really isn't bad as is.

In the larger scheme of things, I'll say that, if this is the worst we can find to pick apart in Mr. Miller's story, then he's doing a bang-up job.

That's pretty high quality stuff for a first submission. You've been working at it, and it shows.

I understand about the religion, too, and why it's such a prominent fixture of the characters, and it's very authentic.

Lester Curtis wrote:That's pretty high quality stuff for a first submission. You've been working at it, and it shows.

I understand about the religion, too, and why it's such a prominent fixture of the characters, and it's very authentic.

Ah, if only all would-be-writers would polish their skills that much before actually submitting anything! But then, what would editors use for funny anecdotes?

Oops. Maybe I shouldn't have said that... (sound of angry mob pounding on door)