I haven't read your story yet, but there are two good ways to get critiques. One, poke somebody like me with a sharp stick and live with the consequences, or two, review other stories. A lot of them.Thank you for taking the time to review my story and let me know what you think.
I've published 2 other short stories on Aphelion and no one every said a word about them.
Which was very disappointing.
I'd recommend #2. If nothing else, all that critiquing helps your skills as a writer, and you might make a bunch of new friends besides.
Nate