I have a little problem with some of the word usage, though, such as:
It's colorful and all, but a bit distant from common usage. I had to check Webster's, and got, "adj. 5. let out, employed, or done for hire. v.t. 6. to make trite, common, or stale by frequent use." Not quite how we usually see that word used, but -- who knows, it might catch on.wound crazily with pipe that twisted and curled in hackneyed coils
And then there's:
Shouldn't that be "rage overcoming exhaustion" (or something like it)?rage feeding exhaustion
And if that's all I can find to complain about, this story must be all right.