The thing is, though, this story has a very attractive quality to it; it uses repeating themes about light, such as:
and:The red setting sun bleached through the buildings surrounding the intersection like cracked ice under a bed of bourbon.
as well as the repeating theme of breaking glass, and it all sets a mood that is poetic and surreal, vaguely threatening but not definable. The contrast of themes suggests danger and hope.But the light in the room, there was something about that dim light that brushed against his skin like waves of change, like something was about to happen.
This all produces a very effective but subtle atmosphere, and builds gently to the climax at the end, which I was a little surprised at, but not disappointed with -- at all.
Bruce, watch your spelling and punctuation -- the little details do matter -- but keep listening to your muse. Very nice work.