Family Recipe by Robert Moriyama

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Re: Family Recipe by Robert Moriyama

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

The idea for this story sprang from living in a building populated mainly by Russian Jewish immigrants. On any given day, walking up or down the stairs or riding the elevator would mean inhaling the pungent (but usually appetizing) aromas of several different Eastern European dishes, from goulash or borscht to gefilte fish. Avram's weight problem was thus linked to his sensitivity to (and love of) the smells of good-tasting (but bad for him) food.

But one smell that would not appeal to him was the smell of blood -- especially the smell of a LOT of blood. (The reason for his familiarity with and aversion to the smell/taste of blood was not based on personal experience -- I've had nosebleeds, but never from taking a punch to the proboscis.)

As for why Avram did not bleed when decapitated, this was consistent with the lack of any blood traces (aside from the blood in the blutwurst) in the building and the supernatural qualities of the blade wielded by Mr. 813 -- a blade sharp enough to shear through deadbolt locks and flesh and bone without effort, and blessed or cursed to "not waste a drop". (If there isn't a legend or Grimm fairy tale about a demonic butcher, there should be... Sweeney Todd doesn't count, being merely psychotic rather than preternatural in nature.)

And yes, I've read (and seen references in movies -- probably old Hammer horror films) about the brain continuing to function after decapitation for up to a few minutes before anoxia causes unconsciousness. In this particular case, the sealing of the blood vessels would reduce the likelihood of immediate unconsciousness due to a catastrophic drop in blood pressure -- the oxygen, glucose, etc., in the blood contained in the head would allow at least a few seconds before dropping below critical levels, and the supernatural blade would ensure that the actual decapitation would be painless.

RM
Last edited by Robert_Moriyama on November 08, 2007, 12:16:01 AM, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Family Recipe by Robert Moriyama

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

As noted, Mr. 813's blade is supernaturally sharp, so hydrostatic shock wouldn't be much of an issue (versus a normal blade with a measurable thickness even at its edge). Or maybe it's future or alien tech, with a monomolecular edge ... "Mars Needs Sausage", the epic that Ed Wood always wanted to make!

"He ain't from around here."

OR ...

Oh, boy -- now I can do another crossover story: Mr. 813 versus Al and Githros. Can Mr. 813's blade penetrate one of Al's Fortress spells? And can Mr. 813 take a full-on claws-extended smack upside the head from Githros in his serious-business three-meter-tall form?

Anybody interested in finding out?

RM
Last edited by Robert_Moriyama on November 08, 2007, 12:37:29 PM, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Family Recipe by Robert Moriyama

Post by kailhofer »

I liked this one.

The weight issue gave the hero a flaw (and therefore was more interesting to read about), as well as making him sensitive to the smells of food. Much like Mr. 813 couldn't seem to stop killing, the hero couldn't stop wanting food. Of course, 813 may have been stocking up for the winter in whatever world he comes from, so that would make them even more alike...

Good parallels. Nice job.

Nate

PS-I have something in tomorrow night's challenge that may quench that desire to see Githros & 813 meet, or at least something similar. Stay tuned.
Last edited by kailhofer on November 10, 2007, 03:28:48 PM, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Family Recipe by Robert Moriyama

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

I figured Nate would like this one, since the senses (primarily smell, but to a lesser degree taste, sight (at least in terms of Mr. 813's unsettlingly bestial appearance), and the perception of pain (Avram's overburdened knees) and hunger) play such a pivotal role. (Charles Schulz, of course, gave us the immortal "Mmmmmm. Chocolate creams --- ack! bleah! -- with a little bit of coconut..." How evocative, with only the simplest of words.)

RM
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Re: Family Recipe by Robert Moriyama

Post by kailhofer »

I figured Nate would like this one, since the senses (primarily smell, but to a lesser degree taste, sight (at least in terms of Mr. 813's unsettlingly bestial appearance), and the perception of pain (Avram's overburdened knees) and hunger) play such a pivotal role. (Charles Schulz, of course, gave us the immortal "Mmmmmm. Chocolate creams --- ack! bleah! -- with a little bit of coconut..." How evocative, with only the simplest of words.)

RM
I think it just goes to prove how the employment of all the senses and a big weakness aids good characterization. :P

Nate
Last edited by kailhofer on November 12, 2007, 08:36:41 PM, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Family Recipe by Robert Moriyama

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

And what are Girl Guide cookies made from? And if vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

And ... and ... what about the A&W 'Burger Family'? Mama Burgers! Papa Burgers! Teen Burgers! Grandpa Burgers! (Apparently Babies and Pre-Teens don't have enough meat on their bones to be worth ... oh my GOD! It's the Great Root Bear, and he looks pissed!)

:oRM
Last edited by Robert_Moriyama on November 17, 2007, 10:02:10 PM, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Family Recipe by Robert Moriyama

Post by Megawatts »

I’m sure that Alfred Hitchcock would have enjoyed this story very much! An overweight guy, a building full of immigrants, and a smell in the building that builds suspense with each step that Avram takes. Nice.

I enjoyed this story, enjoyed the simple yet powerful elements of suspense, good character development and a straight forward honesty that Avram presented to the reader.

The ability to make one feel as if he/she is in the story, watching or being part of it is demonstrated with each step Avarm takes! And the little things like the aroma of fresh bagels and Avram’s knees giving out after a long day, add to the element of realism.

The idea of blood, introduced by Avram’s failed attempt at boxing, foreshadows what will happen during the story. And I really like how Robert used the word ‘insinuated’ to convey to the reader how the taste of blood could dominate through the odors of onions, garlic, oils and possibly some seasonings.  

Avram struggles with the smell permeating throughout the building, and wonders why other
tenants are not searching for the source.

813 is introduced with a passive tactic: Just enough character development to articulate an evil being, yet not enough to steal attention away from Avram. Avram responds to events in this story---phone calls that go unanswered, odors, his thoughts, etc---and his responds to meeting 813 at the door follows as just another event.

The ending played out very nice with Avram’s head severed and falling, yet he remained conscience long enough to see his body fall and heard 813 say “"Of course there is no blood, Mr. Greenbaum. I never spill a drop------Waste not, want not."

For the most part the story is event driven, but we do have some incite into Avram’s life. Some of his thoughts and feeling express themselves especially when part of an event reminds him of his past. A good suspense story driven by subtle events and this one I really enjoyed!!!

I just purchased some hotdogs at a local convenience store!!! I wonder....


Nice Job.
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Re: Family Recipe by Robert Moriyama

Post by Robert_Moriyama »

Shudder.

(Thought I'd compensate for the earlier lengthy posts)
Gareth is, of course, reacting to Megawatts's reference to convenience-store hot dogs. "Frank"ly, good-quality human flesh would probably be better for you than what they REALLY put in hot dogs...

;D :o :P
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