The Organist by Stephen H. Wallenfels

Tell us what you thought of the November 2007 issue!

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Megawatts
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The Organist by Stephen H. Wallenfels

Post by Megawatts »

Stereotype ganisters robbing human organs for sale! I bet Al Capone never thought that one up!!

Spelled out numbers should be used for 8 meters and 8 years. And some other numbers in story should have been spelled out. The only grammar infraction that stood out to me.

I thought the used of dialogue excellent, and the language of ganister, as heard in old movies, also fitting. And I had little trouble following the story-line. Nice.

Some sensory input would have added a nice touch such as “the room became hot, but cold sweat bubbled from my forehead as I saw the ghost of Luigi Tortella...”  A little sensory input here and there goes a long way!

The profanity was fitting and used correctly.  

I liked the story line, even if the characters were stereotyped There was something natural and convincing about the characters, and I believe it came through with the dialogue that was crafted so well.

Learn when to use spelled out numbers, and interject some sensory input when needed.

In general, I thought the story very good.

Nice job!!
Tesla Lives!!!
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