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Mission to Mars! by Dave Weaver
Posted: February 17, 2012, 12:23:49 AM
by Lester Curtis
This thing had me continually wondering, "What the hell -- ?!" -- right up until the last little chunk, maybe half a page worth -- and then, I got
really disappointed, and immediately thought of this:
http://www.strangehorizons.com/guidelin ... mmon.shtml
Sorry, Dave, but you lose points for that trick. On the positive side, you did a bang-up job of turning Mars into a comic book.
Re: Mission to Mars! by Dave Weaver
Posted: February 17, 2012, 01:30:25 AM
by Robert_Moriyama
Lester Curtis wrote:This thing had me continually wondering, "What the hell -- ?!" -- right up until the last little chunk, maybe half a page worth -- and then, I got
really disappointed, and immediately thought of this:
http://www.strangehorizons.com/guidelin ... mmon.shtml
Sorry, Dave, but you lose points for that trick. On the positive side, you did a bang-up job of turning Mars into a comic book.
The stuff with Zac and Janey rubbing their rubber space suits against each other was amusingly chaste and kinky at the same time -- appropriate for a 50s-style comic book scenario as inhabited by a pre- or actually-pubescent boy.
Re: Mission to Mars! by Dave Weaver
Posted: February 23, 2012, 02:41:30 PM
by Lester Curtis
vates wrote:
Now, Bottomdweller, Lester Curtis, I'd like to ask something of you. Do you remember the line ' "Poor Frank, he never stood a chance" ' from the martian tale? With that in mind, please reread the last two paragraphs of the whole piece. What do you see?
Hiding in plain sight . . . there's the obvious story-within-a-story, but then another element; kid with no dad, finding a way to adjust to his loss.
Yes, all the pieces fit together quite nicely, but it's still a worn out plot; still too Twilight-Zone-ish. And that detracts and distracts from the kid's story. Keeps it from being too schmaltzy, but tends to bury it at the same time.
Re: Mission to Mars! by Dave Weaver
Posted: February 27, 2012, 03:58:57 PM
by Robert_Moriyama
Jaimie wrote:...Some of it was just plain sloppy:
Zac turned to Janey long enough to brush a stray hair away from her face.
Weren’t they wearing space suits? How did he brush her hair through the helmet?...
Given the breathable atmosphere, I just assumed that they weren't wearing their Classic 1950s Fishbowl Helmets. So why were they wearing their "rubber spacesuits"? Maybe it was too chilly or damp for shipboard uniforms (or they were practicing Safe Snuggling by wearing their Tea Party-Approved Santorum Brand Full-Body Condoms).