The plot is very weak in this story. Bethany's only objective in the whole piece was to get rid of Alan, which she did with no resistance from him and only the most miniscule conflict within herself. That also made for rather weak characterization from both of them.
Other than that, I found one point where a few missing commas made me backtrack briefly:
Commas are extremely powerful little things, and should be carefully kept track of.-- one of his other friends Scott made it a point to stay in bed until midday but, of course, he read Geography and lectures (and, from what Alan had seen, work in general) were strictly optional in that subject.
Nice style; not enough substance.