New Issue Online

[doc]

The merry merry month of May. We always promise to get the new issue out before the end of the world. Did we make it??

Get thee forth. Read first, then comment! (Don't try it the other way round. The forums are a mess when you do.)

Fiction, poetry, and features, plus an editorial from the other side of the ocean.

[Robert_Moriyama]

Correction to cover -- it's "Barrow Ben", not "Barrow Men" (said the ungrateful wretch).

[doc]

Correction to cover -- it's "Barrow Ben", not "Barrow Men" (said the ungrateful wretch).

Oops. Fixed.

I blame the whiskey.

[Robert_Moriyama]

Correction to cover -- it's "Barrow Ben", not "Barrow Men" (said the ungrateful wretch).

Oops. Fixed.

I blame the whiskey.

To quote the Irish Rovers:

Might have been the whiskey
Might have been the gin
Could have the three or four six-packs, I don't know,
But look at the mess I'm in
My head is like a football
I think I'm gonna die
Tell me, me oh, me oh my
Wasn't that a party?

Doc, of course, views drinkers of lesser beverages (than whiskey) with pity.

[doc]

Correction to cover -- it's "Barrow Ben", not "Barrow Men" (said the ungrateful wretch).

Oops. Fixed.

I blame the whiskey.

To quote the Irish Rovers:

Might have been the whiskey
Might have been the gin
Could have the three or four six-packs, I don't know,
But look at the mess I'm in
My head is like a football
I think I'm gonna die
Tell me, me oh, me oh my
Wasn't that a party?

Doc, of course, views drinkers of lesser beverages (than whiskey) with pity.

Ramblin' Rover
by Andy M. Stewart


(Chorus) Oh, there're sober men in plenty,
And drunkards barely twenty,
There are men of over ninety
That have never yet kissed a girl.
But gie me a ramblin' rover,
And fae Orkney down to Dover.
We will roam the country over
And together we'll face the world.

There's many that feign enjoyment
From merciless employment,
Their ambition was this deployment
From the minute they left the school.
And they save and scrape and ponder
While the rest go out and squander,
See the world and rove and wander
And are happier as a rule.

(Chorus)

I've roamed through all the nations
Ta'en delight in all creation,
And I've tried a wee sensation
Where the company, did prove kind.
And when partin' was no pleasure,
I've drunk another measure
To the good friends that were treasure
For they always are in our minds.

(Chorus)

If you're bent wi' arth-i-ritis,
Your bowels have got colitis,
You've gallopin' with bollockitis
And you're thinkin' it's time you died,
If you been a man of action,
Though you're lying there in traction,
You will get some satisfaction
Thinkin', "Jesus, at least I tried."

(Chorus)